When I was a child I loved to jump in puddles and lay in the grass. I was always “losing” my shoes because I hated wearing them (and still do) I loved riding the bus to the end of the line so I could look out the window at the people and places. I was always looking up at the clouds trying to discern what shapes they were in and I was convinced that the clouds were Gods way of talking to me. My grandmother (my biggest co conspiritor) would take me to the Thrift store so I could try on the wigs lol and read all the books. I must have been a handful back then. God bless Mom Dukes for putting up with me.
As an adult I see how much other people have changed, no longer the type of person they were when they were kids, I see my counterparts starting to raise their own familes and get married, they move on both phyiscally and mentally. Although sometimes childhood seems like a few lifetimes ago I look at the families of people I grew up with and how life has changed and I wonder how I will be remembered and who will remember me.
If the Universe is good and positive (which I happen to know it is) I will have a husband and babies and friends and a network of good people where ever I choose to finally land but I can’t help but wonder some days how I will be remembered. Ask the child of any celebrity or well known that the way they remember “mom” and “dad” is a whole lot different than how the world does.
I was listening to an interview with Erykah Badu interview online and she answered the question about what items she would want someone to give her kids if she died so they could have the best picture of her and how she was. I’m not talking just about life and death but in general what handprint have a left on the planet Earth, and if people will understand what I’m trying to do.
Will people remember me for what I tried to do, when people think of me will they hear my laughter in their heads or recall a poem that made them cry, or remember or re evaluate. Will people see me like I am or like I try to be. Will they think God heard my prayers or will they question why I did’nt go to church more. Sometimes I just wonder If people notice that I am the same girl I was at 7 and 13 and 20 and I hope I never loose myself.